


Why do you always want me to hurt you?

by strawberrymilkmaid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Confused Draco Malfoy, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Soft Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrymilkmaid/pseuds/strawberrymilkmaid
Summary: Draco x fem! Reader. No house implied. Mentions of past self-harm! Proceed with caution, lovelies!Draco notices how you have been acting differently; It worries him.“Why do you always want me to hurt you?” He asks, surprisingly soft.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Kudos: 37





	Why do you always want me to hurt you?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! this is my first fic. Please be nice I'm new and anxious.  
> MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN PAST. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE1!!1!!!!  
> Anyways, much love <33

You like the way he marks you. When he leaves the marks, you don’t have to do them yourself. Waking up with bruises and scratches satisfies you. You want to see remnants of pain so your emotions and self-hate can seep through them. You start arguments with him so that they end in rough sex. He doesnt know this, though. He hasn’t picked up on the pattern and how you haven’t had a genuine love session in a minute. Whenever he’s in the mood and an argument hasn’t started, you push him away. He’s slightly annoyed but he doesnt mention it. 

You used to self-harm months ago, but you’ve stopped. When asked where the scars are from, you make some sorry excuse about the whomping willow. He believed it. You’re avoiding talking with yourself that maybe this is a form of self-harm, but you silence it with an excuse of a kink. So one day, when you feel particularly angsty and feel terrible for pushing his loving kisses away, you let him in.

He swoops you into a kiss and walks you back into his dorm. Closing the door behind him and leading you towards the bed. He pushes you down softly, muttering sweet nothings in your ear and then kissing behind it. You know that he loves diversity in his actions within the bedroom, and you have been neglecting him of being submissive or sweet. So since you have no energy today, you let him be adorable and handle you. He kisses down your neck, only leaving soft marks, and you run your hands through his soft platinum hair. You let out breathy whines, and the tension between your thighs heightens. 

You can tell that he wants to drag this time with you out, but the need for your body to hurt starts to overcome you. So you lead his hands to your ass and instruct him.

“Hurt me, please, Draco.”

He kisses you again. You can tell that he’s trying to get in that aggressive mood for you, but it’s not working. He pulls back and thinks for a second; you watch his face waiting for a reaction. He backs away from you, leaving your skirt rode up and your blouse half unbuttoned. He looks at you and then speaks. 

“Why do you always want me to hurt you?” He asks, surprisingly soft.

“Ever since a few months ago, you have been so… so bloody aggressive with me.” He mutters in slight disgust. 

You frown, your brows furrowing. 

“What’s wrong with wanting to be rough?” You ask.

“I don’t like it rough all the time. You know that,” He says back. 

“Why won’t you let me love you… instead of degrading you all the time. It makes me feel like more of an asshole than I already am.” He speaks clearly, being straight forward for once in his life. You can tell that he’s been thinking about his for a while, maybe a few weeks, with the way he’s prepared with his responses. You don’t know how to respond. 

“Just, just leave me alone. If you don’t do it, then ill do it myself.” You spit angrily. Getting up and straightening your clothes, you prepare to leave. He stands still, shocked by your answer. His face contorts in confusion, and he turns towards you. 

“What does that mean?” He asks in irritation.

“Whatever, Draco, I’m going to the library.” You look once more in his mirror and then leave. You don’t look back. 

You head to the library. Maybe studying for the next potions test would help get your mind off everything. So you fuel your self-destructive behavior into reading all you can about why love potions are banned at Hogwarts. It felt like minutes, but hours pass by, and your eyelids feel heavy. When you look up and glance out the window, the sun has already set. You missed dinner. You don’t care, so you bury your head back into the book and start to read the next paragraph when you feel someone tug on your wrist. 

“What the-”

“Why weren’t you at the feast?” He cut you off. You’re still looking down at your hands, noticing how the ring on his finger feels slightly warm. His hands are clammy; He’s been worrying about you.

“Didn’t notice the time,” You look to the side, avoiding his gaze. You can definitely tell he’s worried now, the way his eyes burn on your skin, and you are not even looking at him. Students around you start averting their gaze to the scene, and Draco scoffs. He drags you out of the library and into a nearby corridor. Once you are alone, he pulls up your sleeves and examines your arms. Once he saw nothing, he moves to your thighs, pushing up your skirt and looking for any fresh wounds.

“What are you doing?” You whisper yelled, pushing his hands away.

“When were you going to tell me?” He says, tears threatening to drip off his lower lashes.

“Tell you what? You’re going mad, I swear-”

“Tell me that you were hurting yourself.” He finished.

You go silent.

“Are you kidding me, Y/n? Bloody hell, You’ve been using me.” he stops and blinks away any tears.

“You have been using me as a replacement to hurt yourself.” His voice cracks.

“... It’s not like that-”

“But it is.” his face goes stern.

It’s your turn to cry. The tears come hot and fast; You let out a whimper.

“I’m sorry,” You cry.

He cradles your head and pulls you into a hug. He pulls back after rocking you for a few minutes, letting your snuffles die down. He cups your face and wipes away your tears, and pulls you into a kiss.


End file.
